There is a specific moment at almost every wedding that stops me in my tracks. It is not always the first kiss, and it is not always the cake cutting. It is that split second when the magnitude of the day hits someone so hard that they cannot help but let go.
We call them “tears of joy,” but as a photographer, I see them as the most honest confession of love you can make.
When you look through a wedding portfolio, you often search for the perfect lighting, the stunning venue, or the dress details. But today, I want to talk about the messy, beautiful, unscripted magic of crying on your wedding day (and why those are the photos you will treasure most in twenty years).
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Why We Cry When We Are Happy
Psychologists call it a “dimorphous expression.” It is what happens when our bodies are so overwhelmed with positive emotion that we need a release valve to regulate it. Your body is literally saying: “I have too much happiness to keep inside.”
Swedish filmmaker Ingmar Bergman once observed that tears represent a moment when the body acts beyond our control. In that surrender, we witness something profound: our true human nature, stripped of pretense, revealed in its most vulnerable and beautiful form.
When we cry, we are showing our true selves, and that’s why those moments are so powerful in photography. It’s pretty similar to the kids’ authenticity, not faking.
The Contagion of Emotion
Have you ever noticed that when one person starts crying at a wedding, others quickly follow? This is not coincidence: it is neuroscience. Our brains contain mirror neurons that cause us to instinctively reflect the emotions we observe in others. When we see someone we love experiencing deep emotion, our own bodies respond in kind.
The tears connect people in the room like an invisible thread.
This is why the most emotional weddings are not necessarily the most elaborate ones. They are the ones where people feel safe enough to be vulnerable, and that vulnerability spreads through the room like warmth from a fire.
Why Tears of Joy Matter and why photographers do all they can to capture them
They show the depth of your relationships. Tears appear when emotions overflow, which is why these moments reveal the bonds that matter most. Whether it is a parent watching their child say their vows, a sibling remembering childhood memories, or the couple realizing this day is finally happening, the tears say it all.
They capture the heart of the day’s story. A single tear falling during a first look or a parent squeezing a tissue during the ceremony has the ability to carry the entire emotional arc of the wedding. These images are not about sadness. They are about meaning.
They make your gallery feel human. Beautiful portraits are essential. Fun group shots matter too. But emotional images bring your gallery to life. They add softness, warmth, and truth. These photos are often the ones people come back to years later.
They create timeless keepsakes. Trends come and go, but authentic emotion never goes out of style. The tears captured today become treasured family memories tomorrow. They show how deeply loved you are and how meaningful the day was for everyone present.
The Most Emotional Moments of the Day
Morning letter and gift exchanges.
During the preparation of the bride or the groom, in the quiet hours before the ceremony, couples often exchange letters or small gifts. Reading heartfelt words from your soon-to-be spouse (often while getting ready with your closest friends or family) creates an intimate emotional release that sets the tone for the entire day. It is the groom reading a private letter from his partner before the suit jacket goes on. It is the bride opening a small box and realizing what it means.
First looks.
The moment one partner turns around and sees the other in their wedding attire often brings instant tears. It is intimate, vulnerable, and breathtaking. First looks with children are equally moving, especially when little ones see their parent transformed into a bride or groom.
Parents seeing their child before the ceremony.
This is not simply pride. It is 20 or 30 years of memories rushing to the surface at once. It is the bridesmaids seeing the bride in her dress for the first time. These are the moments where the “performance” of the wedding drops away, and only the reality of the relationship remains.
Reading personal vows.
Hearing the words you have been saving for months can be overwhelming in the best way. When couples speak from the heart, the room often goes silent except for the sound of sniffles.
Walking down the aisle.
For the couple, it is finally happening. For the families, everything changes in one walk.
Ceremony speeches.
Ceremonies are often the Climax of the day. Whether it is an officiant sharing the couple’s love story or a parent offering a blessing, these words carry the weight of commitment and often bring tears to everyone present.
Congratulations right after the ceremony.
Right after the ceremony, your wedding party and parents (who probably have cried a lot already), will come to hug you and congratulate you.
The pressure goes down, you let it go, and I capture the moment.
Dinner toasts.
A story from childhood, a heartfelt thank you, or a promise for the future has a way of making even the toughest person emotional. After the formality of the ceremony, walls come down, and a well-crafted toast can reduce the room to happy tears.
The quiet moments no one expected.
A sibling wiping their eyes during the vows. A grandparent getting overwhelmed watching the first dance. The couple tearing up while cutting the cake. These unplanned moments are often the most powerful.
A Note About Family
Weddings are, at their heart, about family: the one you were born into and the one you are creating. The tears shed on a wedding day often flow from the recognition that relationships are shifting, that time has passed, that children have grown. A mother watches her son become a husband. Grandparents see another generation begin. Siblings realize their bond is expanding, not diminishing.
These family moments deserve space to breathe. Some of the most powerful images I have captured were not during grand entrances or first dances. They were quiet glances exchanged between a bride and her grandmother, or a father wiping his eyes when he thought no one was watching.
How I Capture These Emotional Moments
My job as your photographer is not just to document who was there. It is to document how it felt.
I observe and I do not interrupt.
Tears cannot be posed. They happen naturally. To capture genuine tears, I have to ensure they can arise: I need to be invisible. If I am directing you or asking you to hold that pose, the emotion vanishes. I stay alert and ready, using a quiet documentary approach to preserve the moment exactly as it unfolds.
I watch your hands.
Often, hands tell the story before the face does. A clenched hand, a hand wiping a cheek, a hand reaching out for support.
I look for the reaction to the reaction.
When a groom cries, I immediately look at his mother. When a bride tears up during a toast, I look at her best friend. Emotion ripples through a room, and capturing those ripples tells the full story.
I anticipate the photo.
20+ years of Experience help me know where emotion is likely to appear. I watch faces, listen to tones, and stay close to key people during meaningful moments.
I shoot gently and respectfully.
I don’t jump on you with my big lens.
These moments are intimate. My goal is to honor them, not intrude. The result is an image that feels honest, soft, and deeply personal.
Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
If you are worried about ruining your makeup or looking “ugly” when you cry, please let that go. It’s Ok to have feelings, it’s OK to be a human being.
There is nothing more beautiful than a person completely surrendered to the joy of the moment. These photos are the ones that prove you were present. They prove you felt every second of the day.
Practical Tips: Embrace the Tears
Don’t try to refrain from your tears!
So many people try to hold back tears on the wedding day, worried about appearances. But suppressing emotion only creates tension. The moments you allow yourself to feel fully are the moments that create the most meaningful photographs (and the most vivid memories).
Waterproof makeup is essential.
Talk to your makeup artist about using waterproof mascara and long-wearing foundation. A good artist knows how to create a look that can withstand joyful tears while still looking natural.
Keep a handkerchief & tissues close.
Tuck a few in your bouquet wrap, your pocket, or your clutch. Better yet, consider personalized tissue packets as a thoughtful touch.
Plus, they can be customized with your wedding date or a sweet message and distributed to guests or the wedding party.
A handkerchief could be embroidered, could be something blue, old, or borrowed.
Designate a tissue holder.
Your maid of honor or best man should have tissues at the ready during the ceremony. Nothing interrupts a tender moment quite like frantically searching for something to dry your eyes.
Why These Photos Belong in Your Wedding Album
Tears of joy are the emotional anchor of a wedding day. They remind you of the promises you made, the people who supported you, and the love that filled the room. If people didn’t care, they would not cry.
In ten years, your dress may be boxed away and your flowers long gone. But these images will still move you. They show the heart behind every detail and the meaning behind every moment.
Tears at weddings are not something to hide or prevent. They are proof that love is present, that this day matters, that these people showed up with their whole hearts.
So, if the tears come, let them fall. I will be there to catch them.
